Manifestation
by Justagirlwithwords
Summary: "Psychoanalysis. of or relating to conscious feelings, ideas, and impulses that contain repressed psychic material." One-shot/drabble based on the latest episode 5x05.


"Psychoanalysis. of or relating to conscious feelings, ideas, and impulses that contain repressed psychic material."

Are dreams nightmares disguised or desires displayed?

Is it a manifestation of your greatest fears or insecurities?

Is it showcasing all that you have buried within, so deep, and so far down, that the line between denial and being the truth has blurred so long ago?

….

A ghostly smile.

A wispy smirk and a tilt of the head.

Sheets tangled, flashes of bare skin and her fiery hair is splayed across pillows.

Just a touch of sugar and spice.

Then it all goes to hell.

Brown eyes become bewildered, shocked, scared even. It's no longer the same image teasing and taunting him. No, it's a sultry smirk, a tilt of the head, eyes, with a glint of mischief looking…elsewhere.

The thing about this therapist thing is that she continues to poke and prod, jab at every metaphorical scab that makes up Harvey Specter. She is _convinced_ that she knows everything there is to know about him, the problem is the fact that he remains oblivious. She strongly _believes_ that he continues to deny the very thing that resides in the core of his problems.

No, not Donna.

Not even Travis Tanner.

Or his abandonment issues as Jessica so eloquently put it.

His mother.

She _knows_ that what meets the eye has nothing to do with the real Harvey Specter.

Everything reaches a boiling point, and it's caught between being acknowledged and being ignored. But every time it gets pushed further and further beneath the surface, the faster it all comes to a head…to where denial no longer exists and everything is blurred together.

Past.

Present.

Future.

There is no more deciphering which is when, and where it goes.

His past is catching up with his present, and his future wholly depends on coming to terms with both his past and present.

See how confusing it gets?

Throw in a trustworthy, doesn't-put-up-with-his-shit boss, a loyal puppy like associate (which he really isn't anymore but still is…), a know-it-all secretary who has recently abandoned ship, and a continuous pain in the ass, who recently teams up with another pain in the ass, just to be more of a pain.

So, the present isn't really cleaning itself up nicely is it?

Then the urge to fight, to return to a semblance of the Harvey Specter everyone knows and hates him for, becomes so strong, so blinding that he refuses to even think for one moment that Travis Tanner, one of his past pain in the asses, could have possibly changed.

So Mike is pushing, both his usual nagging yet concerned self, with Louis up to his eyebrows in shitty moves, Jack Solaf hunting him down, and Jessica is just _done_.

In the end, it's not like he is at a big loss with the firm, no because Louis actually ends up fixing all that he created, nor is he at a loss with his client, because he takes the settlement offer, and ties all the loose ends.

He's at a loss with himself, because sure he wins poker against his therapist, her confession surely does bring a new side to this no-nonsense attitude, and sure he finally admits who he really saw in the dream.

But it still isn't good enough.

No, because this therapist of his knows….oh she knows that the one topic that continues to both gain points in Harvey's book as well as builds his walls back up instantaneously is his mother.

Once again, his past is back, mocking him with a vengeance.

She goes on saying how his dream wasn't what it looked like, and there was a reason it all went down that way…it was a message from his subconscious.

Deep down, the only question that comes to mind is how the hell is his subconscious actively working so hard in a dream where he is in bed with Donna? Surely there can't be more to it, than what he sees…correction, what he dreams.

Suddenly, it isn't just a dream anymore, no…it's his desires, his fears, his insecurities, his past, his everything manifested into one goddamn dream.

Because all that he is repressed, is suddenly springing back up, and there is no such thing as denial anymore.

—

 **Hey Guys! I honestly was a big fan of yesterday** **'** **s episode, and I am just feeling so inspired with this new season! Please let me know what you thought of this** **…** **as well as the episode by typing a quick review and sending it my way. You guys seriously don** **'** **t know how much your reviews brighten my day.**

 **Also, to a couple of guests who has reviewed on my selection of Season 5 inspired one-shot/drabbles thank you! A lot of what you said has seriously brought a smile to my face:))**

 **With Love, Justagirlwithwords**


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